Tuesday, April 17, 2007
I use to think being anti social was a bit not very nice. But today's incident made me thankful for being quiet most of the time. See being quiet has it's advantages too. It allows u to listen to what people normally won't hear, it allows u to pick out the tinest happenings of life. Sometimes it's these little happenings that make u reflect why life is so unfair.
Everyone of us needs a friend. Be it an introvert, an extrovert, we all need to be loved, and have a want to be loved. Seriously i thank God for all the friends i have although most of the time i prefer to be more of the quiet type. I have people whom i can confide in, people whom i can talk to and have lengthy conversations about the most random things on earth. But then, some things today made me feel as though i take my good life for granted.
Somehow i feel injustice, or maybe i'm just viewing the situation from a one sided point of view. Two incidents happen, one during class, one after class. The one after class impacted me the most. But then the one during class ain't no small matter too. A classmate gets fired up, cool, i can vote her to be the best motivational speaker of all time. She's good. But somehow i feel the irony of the situation. I know the class wants to move forward together, to study hard, but then again i can't help but notice the X situation. I call this situation X because i just feel like being indirect about it. Somehow i seem to think that although we are going to start studying hard our perspective of some people in class isn't going to change much. As such, are we being unfair here?
We say we should help one another, but really think hard, how many times have u actually whole heartedly wanted to help that certain individual in class? I myself am guilty of such a crime. I know i should change, that i shouldn't be treating people this way. Is it right to conclude that when people do this that i'm right doing so too? I try so hard, many people would say they do too. But try as we might, i still think this crap situation would never change. Is God showing a test of character here? Have i failed time and time again then?
Then after school situation Z happened. This is the first time in my life i actually felt helpless about something. Like really helpless. I thought i was the one being quiet and reflective about stuff but the conversation ended with me trying to cheer the other party up. It seems as though life plays tricks, well it does most of the time i come to believe. Maybe we should all get a life soon.
As a Chrisitian i'm glad i got someone to turn to even in my darkest hour. But what about those friends that aren't. How to i explain that they must let go of certain things to achieve what we call "enlightenment" or maybe peace in the heart? Why is it that two friends who are able to interact so well that they can be deemed on similar frequency, but yet have different views on how to deal with situations. I use to think i'm very pessimistic about life, but then time and time again i was proved wrong by people who popped up into my life probably more pessimistic than i am and in turn i'm the one who's realtively optimistic to them.
Maybe what we need is a break, a chance, or even someone just to support us. Mabybe what this world needs is peace, more love, and just that extra bit of grace. As i sit now facing the computer and pouring out my thoughts, i'm thinking about maybe all we need is a little more quietness, more people to listen and just really listen when you need.
You're alive. Do something. The directive in life, the moral imperative was so uncomplicated. It could be expressed in single words, not complete sentences. It sounded like this: Look. Listen. Choose. Act.
Barbara Hall, A Summons to New Orleans, 2000
Spoken Out Loud By Shua`
4:39:00 PM
